I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
