who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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