Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
