i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
