what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
