i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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