i permit you to call me
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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