How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Even my vagina gasped.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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