this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
