Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
