ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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