what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
