that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize