you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
