she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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