Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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