me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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