how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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