no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
