I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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