went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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