his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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