ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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