Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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