awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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