what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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