I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
