I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
