At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
