you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
