i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
