Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
