You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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