Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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