Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
