I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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