like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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