Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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