Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
please come you make the beer taste better
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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