You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
