Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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