How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
