I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize