'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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