you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I love having hate sex.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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