i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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