We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize