if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
