no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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