Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm at about main and main street
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My penis needs a shock collar
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
