so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
