Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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