can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
