I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize