Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
