ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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