I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
