you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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